Tonight I visited a blog www.sizzlebop.com that listed
THIRTY FIVE GOOD THINGS ABOUT HAVING ADHD
I needed the reminder. I got sick yesterday and didn't feel well today, and had a short fuse with James' behavior today. But I needed to read this, cause James is awesome and I love him so much!!! If you have a child with ADHD, , this is an awesome site. The goal is to give you positive and practical ways to teach/reach your child and see them as a gift! We all need a reminder every now and then!!!3. Ready to talk, can talk a lot
4. Gets along well with adults
5. Can do several things at one time
6. Smart
7. Need less sleep
8. Good sense of humor
9. Very good at taking care of younger kids
10. Spontaneous
11. See details that other people miss
12. Understand what it's like to be teased or to be in trouble
so are understanding of other kids
13. Can think of different and new ways of doing things
14. Volunteer to help others
15. Happy and enthusiastic
16. Imaginative - creative
17. Articulate - can say things well
18. Sensitive - compassionate
19. Eager to make new friends
20. Great memory
21. Courageous
22. More fun to be with than most kids
23. Charming
24. Warm and loving
25. Care a lot about families
26. Inquisitive
27. Quick to forgive
28. Genuine
29. Never boring
30. Empathetic
31. Perceptive ways to do things
32. Playful
33. Honest
34. Optimistic
35. Interested in new things
(Taken from TADA... The Attentional Disorders Association of Edmonton)
Rough for him, and rough on me and Mark.. When James has rough patches, it's hard to stay focused on the good things. And this was a big rough patch. We pretty much had taken away every privilege the boy had! There was nothing more to take away. We just kept on adding time to how long the privilege was to be taken away. Lots more spankings/time outs. He practically lived in his room most days at home! It was not a pleasant month...and I was contemplating that the everything we were doing as parents must be wrong. I even broke down one morning at the end of Bible study when the women were asking for prayers. It was the ugly cry. I had reached the end of my rope, and didn't know what else to do. They were all very encouraging, however everything they suggested, I was already doing, and have been for a while. Except medicine, and that was on the agenda if he didn't show a change soon...So, while I came away from it uplifted and encouraged...I really didn't have any practical advice to go about changing anything.
I prayed more for patience, knowing God had made him this way on purpose. I prayed to see him as a gift each and every day. I decided to stay off of the computer until after he went to bed, and give him my full attention. I mentioned to Mark to try and spend more one on one time with him, as he had been working extra lately. I also re-evaluated his eating habits, and decided to go on a drastic pure diet and cut back on more than the usual. So we went shopping and only had veggies, fruits, fish/shrimp, beans/nuts, vitamins and supplements. Drinks were either water or smoothies made with just fruit. (no sugars of course!)
But no behavior change. Two weeks of hyper, impulsive, disrespectful, disobedient behavior. He got into a fist fight with a friend at coop, lied to me about something he should not have done, on top of the usual ADHD stuff...
Finally one day it eased up. Don't know why, can't find the pattern. Wasn't the diet, 'cause we had quit the elimination diet, and had just had a "junk day" with pizza and milk, and donuts the day before. (although, I still wonder if he has a food allergy...but what is it???) Go figure! Whatever the reason, PRAISE GOD, cause I needed a break! I needed a reminder that what I was doing wasn't in vain. I needed to remember that my son was still kind and loving and obedient!
So when James is having a Jekyll/Hyde moment...I will get out this list and remember the positives, pray for more patience and persist in disciplining him in the ways of the Lord. Being in the Word has helped me so much!!!
I'd like to share three verses that have encouraged me lately.
The first is 1 Corinthians 15:58:
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
In the long days/weeks/years of hard work as a mother, my labor in the Lord-my mothering-is not in vain. It may look sometimes as if it's in vain, but it's not. God promises that it's not. I cling to that when I'm exhausted or discouraged; when it seems like I've corrected the same misbehavior a thousand times, yet it still occurs; or when my prayers for the kids seem to be going unanswered. My labor not in vain.
The second is Matthew 25:40:
The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."
Jesus didn't say, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these, I appreciate it." He said, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did it for Me." If everything I do as a mother is really done for Jesus Himself, then even changing a diaper takes on a vast, spiritual significance. Even the mundane, thankless tasks of motherhood become immensely significant. Why? Because I do them not primarily for my kids, but for Jesus. Jesus takes my service personally.
And last but definitely not least, the third passage is from Isaiah 40:27-31 27 O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights? 28 Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. 29 He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. 30 Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. 31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
I serve an awesome God!!! Even when I fail and feel too exhausted to go on, He gives me strength to go on!!! It is only in His strength that I am able to accomplish what He has called me to do! I love this passage!
4 comments:
I am sorry you had such a rough month. We love James!
He is very smart and loving. God gives us what we need. Sometimes I find that the things that give me the most grief are the very sins I struggle with myself. What a picture of God's patient love for us.
You are not alone in your motherhood struggle. I lose my fuse quite frequently. I need to reread that meek and quiet spirit book.
Oh, and if you think it is a food allergy, it might be red dye. I have had several friends whose boy or girl have that allergy. It causes them to become angry/irritable and mean. Just really short tempered. Do you eat a lot of things with red dye? You would be surprised how many things have it in there.
I know you cut out a lot when you went pure, but I noticed the vitamins were on that list still. Check your vitamins, because they almost always have it. And yogurt too.
Yes, we avoid red dye like the plague :). It has been known to cause hyperactivity, food allergy or not. As for those two weeks...it was pure natural food. No preprocessed, prepackaged, artificial coloring/flavoring anything. The vitamin I was referring to was B Complex- most kiddo vitamins are loaded with sugars and dyes. We don't go that route either.
oh yeah, and we tried vanilla yogurt in some of the smoothies, but it was organic/sugar free. Was thinking it might be a milk allergy and had elliminated dairy stuff the previous week or two...no change.
How are you doing? Miss you
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